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Hi! I am Hoagie, also known as "Hoagie the Horrible" or "Hoags". I am older than dirt and meaner than
a mizer! My
favorite thing to do is to get in trouble!
Like my younger brother Groucho, I was not adopted by
Mommy and Daddy. Oh no, I adopted them. I wandered in one day about night fall. It was so long ago than no one can remember
exactly when. I was wearing a dumb little pink collar so Mom and Dad thought it would not be too hard to find my owner. Not!!
Dad and I are great friends. I play footsies with him and sit on his lap. Mom thinks I don't like her very much.
I bite her when she pets me. That's how I got the name Hoagie the Horrible". By the way, I was NOT (repeat NOT) named
after a sandwich. That would be an insult. Nooo, I was named Hoagie for H.G. ("House Guest"). Only thing is, I stayed!
I take great pride in getting into trouble. I jump up on the kitchen counter and steal food... sometimes right under
Mom's nose. They have to keep bread in the microwave oven so I can't get it. I love it when someone "forgets" and
leaves a loaf out. Then I jump up, grab it, drag it to the floor, and rip open the plastic bag. Sometimes, if I am really
lucky, I can rip into a loaf of bread when it comes in from the super market before someone has a chance to put it away. They
get busy with the meat and frozen food, and wham!!! I get a loaf of bread!!!
The other night I knocked a whole casserole
dish off the oven onto the floor. My brothers and sisters paid me to do this service for them. Quite a coup!
I also
get up on the counter when Mom is cooking. If lucky, I can make off with a whole pork chop. I wait till Mom has her hands
in the sink or into the food so she can't push me off so easy. Although, sometimes I get caught and have to do jail time.
If I "bug" Mom enough when she is cooking, Dad puts me in a kennel crate for awhile. Bummer!
Oh yes, I
also like to get in trouble at bed time. When Mommy is calling us guys to go to the cellar at bedtime, I
jump onto the
kitchen counter, then way up high to the space above the cabinets. I may be old, but I sure can still jump. Mom can't reach
me so sometimes I get to stay upstairs all night. Ha! Great times!
Well, I will keep ya posted on my newest exploits.
Drop me a line if you think of new ways for me to get into trouble!
Jaws and Claws, Hoags
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